As your parents get older, they will lose their independence. It’s natural to want to be there for them at this time. It’s understandable that you want to offer them as much support as you can, but you shouldn’t let this impact your family. After all, you could have your own little ones to think about and, we think your parent would agree, they should come first. But it’s a little bit of a balancing act so let’s consider the best way to make sure that your support for your parent doesn’t impact your role as a parent. You will need to become a master at juggling your role as a daughter and a mother.
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Don’t Become The Main Carer
It’s possible that your elderly parent does need constant care and support. This will be the case if they are unable to care for themselves or if they have a mental issue like dementia. But, even though you might consider taking the role, the main carer shouldn’t be you. The role will create far too much pressure on your life. Kiss your career goodbye and forget about trying to always be there for your kids. Unfortunately, that won’t happen, and instead, you will need to put your elderly parent first a lot more than you may like.
Instead, you should get a different carer. This could either involve a live in care choice or a stay at a residential home. This will often depend on budgeting issues as well as the general level of independence that your elderly parent has. If they are more independent, then they could probably manage with a part-time carer at their home.
Bringing Them To Stay In Your House
You can do this as long as you are prepared for the pressure, the responsibility and the weight on your personal life. The rest of the family need to agree to this type of setup as well, and you should not do this if your elderly parent needs constant care and support. Ultimately, you will find that becomes a 24/7 job. If however, it’s more important that they have company and socialize, then moving them in so they can spend time with their grandchildren could be a fantastic decision.
Just make sure that you do have a plan for when you and your family need a break. A hospice provides great staff that can offer respite care and provides you with the short term break you could desperately need. Make sure you look at reviews online before committing to using a service like this.
Don’t Stop Living Your Life
You might begin to think that you can’t go out because you need to be close by to your parent. Or, that you can’t go on holiday because you need to be there in case something happens. You can probably see the issue here. Suddenly, you have become a carer in everything but name, and you have stopped living your own life. Your family will hate this, and you will definitely feel more stressed when you can’t take breaks. Remember, you can be there for them without it becoming the center point of your world.
Juggling your role as a daughter and a mother can be stressful. We hope these tips help you find the right balance between being a parent and being a daughter to your elderly parent.